Ep. 155: Jennifer Shannon — How to Let Go of Your Impossibly High Standards of Perfectionism

by Seth J. Gillihan, PhD

My guest this week is Jennifer Shannon, author of the new book, The Monkey Mind Workout for Perfectionism (affiliate link). Jennifer and I explored what perfectionism is, which may be different from what you think. It includes all the ways we rigidly hold ourselves to unrealistic standards. Jennifer offers many simple and effective ways to let go of perfectionism, which you’ll hear about in this episode. When we’re able to let go of our perfectionistic impulses, we can experience less stress and anxiety, which is the natural result of treating ourselves more kindly.

Topics we explored together included:

  • The definition of perfectionism
  • The fear of making mistakes, and equating mistakes with failure
  • Procrastination and underperformance
  • The costs of perfectionism
  • The 5-minute jumpstart to overcome procrastination
  • The tremendous advantage of just getting started on a task
  • How stress perpetuates more stress
  • Limbic hijacking
  • The fear that keeps us pushing ourselves when we’re exhausted
  • Basing our work on time rather than task (here’s the app I use, called Be Focused)
  • Changing our response to emotion
  • Jennifer’s Welcoming Breath technique
  • The toll of working in a highly stressed state to meet arbitrary deadlines
  • The “Go for the No” technique
  • The benefits of randomizing our tasks
  • Flipping a coin when choosing a task to increase flexibility and resilience
  • Everyday activities as an endless audition

Jennifer’s books include (affiliate links):

Jennifer Shannon, LMFT, wrote her first book about 15 years ago when her then-teenaged daughter, Rose, developed severe social anxiety in middle school. Jennifer wanted teens and their families to know that social anxiety is treatable using cognitive-behavioral interventions.

She speaks regularly at local and national conferences and has been featured on numerous radio shows, podcasts and news media.

Jennifer’s passion is to educate people about how effective CBT is for the most common problems we face.

She is a  Certified Diplomate of The Academy of Cognitive Therapy and a graduate of the Behavioral Therapy Training Institute for OCD.

Find Jennifer online at her website and on Twitter and Facebook.