Ep. 163: Janine Kwoh — How to Offer Yourself the Freedom to Grieve

My guest this week is Janine Kwoh, who has a new book called Welcome to the Grief Club (affiliate link). As you’ll hear, Janine has her own experience with heartbreaking grief that became the basis for this book. This conversation is for you if you’re dealing with your own loss of someone you loved, or if you want to learn more effective ways to help someone you love who’s hurting. I know there’s so much fear around saying the wrong thing, which can get in the way of really showing up for someone. Janine and I talk about how the most important thing you can do might be to let go of the idea that it’s up to you to make it better. When we release that unrealistic expectation, we can be much more present for the other person. I know you’ll get a lot out of this discussion.

• Janine’s sudden loss of her partner at age 28
• The underlying message of accepting however we respond in grief
• Our society-wide difficulty with dealing with grief
• The common belief that there’s a “right way to grieve”
• The natural response of wanting to control what we think or feel
• Where the idea of a grief club comes from
• Some of the least helpful things to say in response to someone’s grief
• Surprising experiences in grief
• How grief changes over time
• Reverse nightmares
• The physical symptoms of grief
• The feeling that Janine’s book is written to a dear friend
• The society-sanctioned response of “I’m sorry for your loss”
• Our urge to try to take away a grieving person’s pain
• What it really means to be “resilient”
• The transforming power of grief, and the willingness to be transformed
• Posttraumatic growth related to grief
• Who Welcome to the Grief Club is for

Janine Kwoh is the owner and designer of Kwohtations, a Brooklyn-based stationery company and letterpress print and design studio.

Kwohtations greeting cards and gifts reflect and celebrate a diversity of identities and life experiences, always with humor and empathy.

Janine’s hope is that others will recognize some of themselves in what she creates and feel a bit more seen, more connected, and less alone.

Janine lives in Brooklyn but considers home to be wherever her friends are.

Find Janine online at her website and on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram.