My guests this week are Aaron and Jocelyn Freeman, who specialize in helping busy couples communicate better with each other. We talked about their recent book, The Argument Hangover (affiliate link), including what an argument hangover is and how we can avoid them, or at least move through them more quickly. Other topics we explored included how to deal with our partner’s triggers, and our own, as well as the growth that often comes out of difficult conversations.

Additional areas we considered included:

• What an argument hangover is and what the main symptoms are
• Why the goal is not to eliminate arguments and conflict
• The many similarities between an alcohol hangover and an argument hangover
• The ego’s resistance to initiating reconnection after conflict, and how to move through it
• Our unconscious fear of punishment in arguments
• The emotional override that often takes over in conflict
• The Assertive/Reserved, Flexible/Inflexible relationship personality types
• Understanding our own relationship type, and our partner’s
• When conflict is good vs. unhealthy for a relationship
• Staying on the same side as each other during conflict, vs. being pitted against each other as enemies
• The growth that often comes following difficult conversations
• Resentment from not addressing issues in a relationship
• Assumptions that can lead us to avoid conflict
• Effects of being a parent on couple conflict
• Dealing effectively with our partner’s triggers
• The meaning behind the event that triggers us
• Projecting our own experiences onto our partner
• Making deposits into our relationship account
• The Gottman ideas of “bids,” or subtle gestures toward connection
• The best way to shorten the argument hangover
• Learning about ourselves from the things that upset us in our relationship

Aaron and Jocelyn Freeman are sought-after relationship coaches who have reached over 800,000 couples around the world. They’ve led over forty couples workshops in person, and over sixty online.

They founded and launched the online Empowered Couples University where busy couples unlearn unhealthy patterns and gain modern relationship skills.

The Freemans have shared the stage with Tony Robbins, were nominated as Arizona’s 40 Under 40 Influencers, and have been featured in national media for teaching couples modern, practical skills and tools to work together through any life challenge.

Jocelyn and Aaron Freeman have led over 42 sold-out live events for couples in Arizona and host one of the top relationship podcasts on iTunes.

They are passionate about training and leading future relationship coaches and have an accredited coaching certification program.

In addition to The Argument Hangover, they also wrote The New Power Couple (affiliate link).

As you’ll hear in our discussion, they’re passionate about helping couples to strengthen their relationship. Jocelyn and Aaron are ordained ministers, and their vision is to make relationship development the new personal development, and to lower the divorce rate in their lifetime.

To learn more about the Freemans and take advantage of the resources they offer, you can:

• Visit the website for The Argument Hangover
• Check out their main website
• Follow them on Instagram
• Listen to their podcast
• Sign up for The Couples Workshop