My guest this week is Jared Byas, author of the new book, Love Matters More: How Fighting to Be Right Keeps Us From Loving Like Jesus (affiliate link). This was a great conversation, as Jared and I found many points of connection. The book focuses on matters of faith, but the principles apply to anything we can have strong beliefs and opinions about, including of course, politics. We talked specifically about how we might emphasize love in our discussions with those who hold different political beliefs, and also the relevance of these ideas in our closest relationships. I love to imagine how we could change, and how we could change our world, by putting love first in every interaction. I hope you take a lot from our discussion.

Topics we touched on inclided?

• The disconnect Jared found between the message and practice of his faith
• The frequent problem with “telling the truth in love”
• Defining love relationally rather than solely by intention
• Love as “extending oneself for the spiritual well-being of another—measured by intention and impact”
• The fear that can compel us to tell others they’re wrong
• The fear of failing a “divine test”
• Saying what we believe as a way to solidify our belief that we’re better than others
• Using guilt as a way to absolve ourselves
• Jared’s Southern Baptist, charismatic, and then Presbyterian religious background in Texas
• Benny Hinn’s book Good Morning Holy Spirit
• CS Lewis and an intellectual faith
• Christian writers Cornelius Van Til and Greg Bahnsen
• Christian music groups DC Talk, Newsboys, Petra, and Carmen
• The singer-songwriter Rich Mullins
• The difference between saying that love is important, vs. truly loving
• A simple moralism that makes us feel superior to others
• Applying the principles from Jared’s books to our closest relationships
• Trying to figure God out so we don’t have to trust
• The false belief that without fundamentalist religious beliefs, all morals will disappear
• The difference between rule following and moral development
• The distinction between absolutism and “convicted civility”
• Learning about confidence, conviction, and civility from the paradigm of science
• What love might look like in discussing political differences
• Putting energy into creative solutions instead of dumping it into hating others
• The relative ease of loving people “out there” vs. building real-world bridges where we live
• Checking off facts about our beliefs vs. letting those truths live through us
• Seth Price’s Can I Say This at Church? podcast

Jared Byas is cohost of the popular podcast The Bible for Normal People and coauthor of the book Genesis for Normal People (affiliate link).

He has served as a teaching pastor and a professor of philosophy and biblical studies.

Jared’s passion is to explore new ways of being Christian, and helping people translate all of life’s big questions into a life full of meaning and connection.

He lives outside of Philadelphia with his wife and four kids.

Find Jared online at his website and on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook.