My guest this week is Darren Gold, author of the new book Master Your Code: The Art, Wisdom, and Science of Leading an Extraordinary Life (affiliate link). Darren offers many powerful ideas that I know you’re going to find useful, like how to set yourself up for success, and learning how to rewrite your unconscious programs.

As you’ll hear, Darren really speaks my language, because the things he’s describing are in line with solid cognitive and behavioral principles. There’s a lot here that you can take and start to use right away in your own life. Topics we got to included:

• What it means to “master your code”
• The distinction between automatically programmed thoughts and behaviors and those we choose deliberately
• Parallels between Darren’s approach and cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT)
• Where our unconscious programs come from
• What my guest discovered about his own unconscious programs
• The profound difference that one loving relationship can make
• The importance of the beliefs you hold about yourself
• How we can redefine what we believe is true about ourselves
• Identity reconstruction as our human “superpower”
• The value in a morning ritual
• Setting yourself up for success
• Locus of control and what it means to be “at the effect of your life”
• The “amygdala hijack” and the effect on our agency when emotions run high
• Finding freedom by creating space between stimulus and response
• The importance of posture, breathing, and facial expression in how safe and relaxed we feel (Darren recommended this book by Amy Cuddy, Presence: Bringing Your Boldest Self to Your Biggest Challenges – affiliate link)
• The anxiety that comes from our unconscious programs
• The influence of Stoic philosophy in Darren’s work (see this previous episode with Stoic writer Dr. William Ferraiolo)
• How to find one’s purpose
• Ikigai as one’s reason for getting out of bed in the morning (see this bestselling book for an in-depth exploration of the concept [affiliate link])
• Abraham Maslow and self-actualization
• Why we often run from our calling and purpose
• Why being unsure of ourselves about a new project can actually be a positive sign
• Playing not to lose versus playing to win
• The crucial importance of the questions we ask ourselves
• Seeing ourselves as vessels through which our calling can be expressed

Darren Gold is a Managing Partner at The Trium Group, where he advises and coaches CEOs and leadership teams at many of the world’s most innovative companies, including Roche, Dropbox, Lululemon, Sephora, Cisco, eBay, Activision, and Warner Bros.

Learn more at www.darrenjgold.com and follow him on Twitter.