Ep. 81: Denise Wiesner — How to Maintain Love and Intimacy During Baby-Making Sex

by Seth Gillihan

My guest this week is Denise Wiesner, author of the recent book, Conceiving With Love (affiliate link). We discussed many issues that arise when a couple starts trying to get pregnant, especially when they have difficulty conceiving. It’s easy for passion and intimacy to go out the window when you’re trying to have a baby, and my guest offers many insights and practices to help couples stay close through the process.

Topics we explored included:

  • The challenges and stress of pursuing a medical route to fertility
  • Effects of fertility issues on self-confidence
  • The frequency of anxiety and depression related to fertility issues
  • The helplessness men often feel when their partner isn’t getting pregnant
  • How fertility challenges can affect men’s ability to perform sexually
  • How couples can reclaim sexual connection after an extended period of “baby-making sex”
  • The balance that Denise aims for in her work with couples trying to conceive
  • The power in simply taking time to see our partner
  • Exercises that can help couples maintain closeness
  • The importance of playfulness in couple dynamics
  • How to trust the flow of the universe when desperate to have a baby
  • The relation between the chakra system and Chinese medicine acupuncture points
  • Mind-body practices that can support fertility
  • Discharging stress by shaking the body
  • The challenges couples face when they lose a pregnancy
  • Ways to activate the vagus nerve for relaxation

Denise Wiesner, LAc, FABORM, founder of the Natural Healing and Acupuncture Clinic in West Los Angeles, is an internationally recognized traditional Chinese medicine practitioner, specializing in the Whole Systems Chinese medicine approach to women’s health, sexuality, and fertility.

Since 1994, Denise has treated and helped women manage challenges from menstrual disorders through menopause, and from infertility to pregnancy.

Using a combination of acupuncture, diet and lifestyle counseling, nutritional supplements, and Chinese herbs, Denise has helped thousands of couples navigate the tricky, and often stressful, journey toward fertility, without losing their loving connection.

Denise has a BS in Exercise Kinesiology from UCLA, a masters in traditional Chinese medicine (Emperor’s College), and is a certified sex coach. She is board-certified by the State of California and the American Board of Oriental Reproductive Medicine (ABORM), and a charter member of the Fertile Soul: Clinical Excellence in Fertility program.

Denise teaches professional seminars to medical doctors, OB/GYNs, and nurse midwives on the application of Chinese medicine in obstetrics and gynecology and has published articles on acupuncture and infertility. In addition to a thriving private practice, Denise lectures at conferences, works closely with reproductive endocrinologists, and is a professor in the doctoral program in Chinese Medicine, Fertility, and Women’s Health at Yo San University.

She enjoys leading groups for individuals and couples to help their fertility journey, incorporating breath, meditation, and education. Find Denise online at her website and follow her on Facebook and Instagram.